Our train journey was cancelled hours before departure. Here’s what we did

It’s a full day’s drive through Arizona badlands and its emblematic “stick’em up” cacti to the Holland Hotel in the small city of Alpine, West Texas.

We have pre-booked local guide Hank (not his real name) to take us to Big Bend, the biggest National Park in Texas. Stick’em up Hank’s charges are $US1200 ($1794) for a day trip plus another $US100 to collect us from the Alpine railway station.

He advises by email that he can’t waive this smaller fee because notice of the rail strike has come too late. During the night, I wake to the sound of a passing freight train and realise the railway station is just across the road.

The day tour starts with three of us squeezed into the back of Hank’s shiny red pick-up truck whereupon he mentions casually that we have 100 miles of prairie to cover before the Big Bend tour starts. It seems that distance and speed are irrelevant to Texans. Just over an hour later we drive over a stony hill and there below us is a mini-Grand Canyon, a giant meander of the Rio Grande separating the US from Mexico.

There’s no sign of Trump’s Wall, “illegals” braving the turbulent current or any other traffic but in the middle of seemingly nowhere we are stopped by federal police at a checkpoint demanding our “papers”. A closer look at four ageing Australians convinces them that we haven’t taken the wet way into Texas.

Dave explains this is a “secondary” checkpoint, meaning guards catch most “illegals” after they have crossed the border and are heading north by car with friends.

The Century Bar and Grill at Alpine’s Holland Hotel offers good ’ol country and western music in the pleasant beer garden, but charges my credit card double on successive nights for dinner. I managed to get one transaction reversed with a sympathetic barman explaining, “We have a jackass computer here.”

Texans not only favour big hats, big cars and big ranches, they also serve big meals. We found one main meal was sufficient for two people. Whereas I was obsessed with a daily count of 10,000 steps, it seems the aim for Texans is 10,000 calories. Every packaged food item has a printed calorie count,
perhaps for record-breaking purposes.

Back on the road to our second scheduled stopover, San Antonio, the Interstate 10 is particularly busy. We share the road with huge trucks and hundreds of small white vans ferrying online purchases across America. There is a notable absence of police vehicles despite widespread flouting of the speed limit. However, if a police car did pull over a car, there would be a real chance of a massive pile up.

Eye-catching billboards are also a traffic hazard. They seem to be the province of litigation lawyers (Hit by a truck? Call Chuck!) and Soul Savers (Shackled by Lust? Turn to Jesus!)

After driving 1416 miles (2284 kilometres) from LA, we reached San Antonio and our pre-booked hotel about 10 hours ahead of schedule.

San Antonio’s only attractions are The Riverwalk, a canal lined with restaurants, and The Alamo, the fort where Davey Crockett and others died in 1836 defying the Mexican army.

The information on the walls of the well-kept fort makes heroes of Davey, James Bowie and others. But upon closer reading, I found myself siding with the Mexicans whose government had given the American settlers free land in exchange for swearing fealty to it. The sites where these “independence fighters” died is identified. Asked where the Alamo leader Colonel Travis died, a security guard points: “Over there, near the Welcome Centre.”

Good news! The Amtrak strike is over. We return the hire car and board The Sunset Limited in San Antonio at dawn for the final leg to New Orleans. It quickly lives up to expectations with an excellent dining car and spectacular observation deck.

Then, catastrophe. Thirteen minutes outside of Texas’s biggest city we encounter a genuine “Houston, we have a problem”. The train jolts and then takes 200 metres to stop. Over the intercom the conductor announces: “Somebody’s hit our train.”

A semitrailer had tried to jump the boom gates, is hit by the train, jackknifes and rolls over. Within minutes every variety of first responder reports for duty, checking passengers, the train, the truck and the rail tracks.

For four hours we gazed at a staples factory until a replacement engine arrived. Then it’s another three hours at Houston as Amtrak regulations require a change of crew. With the train finally departing at 9pm, we missed seeing the Mississippi delta in daylight.

So to our “Roomettes”. These comprise two comfy armchairs by day but converting them to bunk beds for sleeping requires the skill of a Rubik’s cube maestro or a helpful Amtrak attendant. Both are in short supply.

We arrive in New Orleans at daybreak. Our hotel in the French Quarter is perfect, in terms of location, comfort and service. They liken Australians to “British Texans” but there are some translation problems, such as when my wife calls reception to ask for hair conditioner and the hotel engineer arrives at the door with a spanner to fix the air-conditioner.

We circle the city twice in a hop on/off bus, where guides point to two separate locations where Lee Harvey Oswald apparently lived immediately before moving to Dallas.

We are now keen to see the bayou. A swamp boat trip exceeds expectations. Its gnarled, aged and tattooed river guide feeds alligators marshmallows, calling them in French and patting their heads. Of all the unexpected consequences of our eight-day trip, this southern ol’ boy provides the biggest surprise when he points to drastic changes in the estuary in his own lifetime and declares climate change to be the biggest challenge
facing the world.

THE DETAILS

Fly

Qantas, United, Delta, and American all fly direct to LA

Rail

Amtrak Sunset Limited fare LA - Alpine - San Antonio - New Orleans $1791.

Drive

All major car hire companies have offices at LA Airport and downtown. Our car was from Hertz Beverly Hills. An additional $US10 a day applies for each driver

More

Amtrak refunded $568.50 of the 2020 Sunset Limited price of $1285

The writer travelled at his own expense.